Reflections on “The Shadow strikes back”, a course developed by Nir Esterman.
By Jutta Holzapfel
“Shadow is the child of trauma.”
Throughout the summer months of 2026, I took part in an online course about Shadow Constellations, by Nir Esterman. This course was aimed at therapists and facilitators of various backgrounds. The course was supported by Aminah Antar Noor, an experienced constellations and breathwork facilitator. It brought together 20 participants from different parts of the world.
Carl Jung first coined the term ‘Shadow’ to describe those aspects of ourselves that are denied, suppressed or considered taboo and therefore made unconscious or kept outside of our awareness. These include emotions, impulses, beliefs, behaviours, abilities, and even bodily sensations. According to Jung, the Shadow is born through shame as well as internalized ideas of right and wrong and is shaped by family, society, culture and ancestral fields (Jung, 1954, CW 9). We push aspects of who we are, and who we might become, into the Shadow. Anything that threatens our sense of belonging may be suppressed, disowned, or denied – even exquisite qualities if they carry a ‘price to pay’.
The ‘Persona’ is the face or mask we present to the world. According to Jung, it emerges to compensate for these disowned, exiled or taboo shadow parts. Shadow Constellations integrates elements of Jung’s approach to working with the Shadow with methods from Hellinger’s Family Constellations. Constellations methodology is used to make visible the shadow aspects of a question or theme.
During the course, I came to experience how the personal shadow is formed through shame and internalized ideas of right and wrong, emerging within family, cultural, and ancestral contexts and conditioning. For example, Sarah (pseudonym) grew up in a family where expressing anger was met with responses like, “Good girls don’t get angry”, “Anger is selfish and ungodly” or “You’re being dramatic”. Her family’s religious teachings reinforced meekness and turning the other cheek, and gender expectations of girls was to be nurturing and accommodating. Ancestral influences were of generations of women who suppressed their voices to survive. As a consequence, she learnt that expressing anger is a risk to belonging, and so she also learns to avoid conflict, even when her boundaries are crossed. The work is deep and often uncomfortable, spanning the personal, professional, collective and archetypal.
As facilitators, we are familiar with the concept that what is excluded will seek inclusion. Our exploration of the Shadow took this principle to a new level, since the unconscious is, by nature, difficult to access directly. One of the valuable aspects of this training has been an increased awareness of my own shadow material and how it becomes activated in response to what emerges in a client or in the field. With awareness, one can remain connected to one’s ‘baseline’ – or better notice when being captured, by an entanglement due to our own story or biases.
We know that the facilitator’s stance or attitude is not neutral; it directly influences the field. Exploring how the facilitator’s shadow affects facilitation was altogether shocking, eye-opening and liberating. It felt like a meaningful upgrade – supporting a gentler way of being as well as a finer awareness in facilitation.
What we are not in touch with within ourselves, we cannot easily meet in our clients without becoming captured, triggered, or entangled. So for example in the case of Sarah’s, a facilitator may also avoid anger or conflict, or become judgemental of Sarah’s avoidance of conflict.
Through the course, working with my shadow became less abstract and more something I can track within myself.
When a shadow within me is activated, I experience a kind of ‘shadow shock’— a noticeable charge—a subtle surge of energy. It may evoke feelings such as shame, irritation, urgency, fear, embarrassment, or a pull to act quickly.
The Shadow affects all of our relationships, both personal and professional.
The same shadow aspect may manifest differently depending on the relational context. For example, when encountering a shadow related to the archetype of the Dark or Light Feminine, I may feel compelled to rush in and protect. In another context, it might evoke fury, judgement, entitlement or distance.
Being out of touch with my own shadow related to the Feminine risks interfering with the client’s process, rather than allowing it to reveal itself. These moments are easy to overlook in order for the dynamic of the shadow to remain unconscious. Through the course, I am getting better at noticing them as signals that cause me to pay attention to shadow aspects that may be being avoided or activated.
In constellation work, what’s hidden often has as much influence as what’s visible. In light of the current global climate, I propose that exploring the Shadow as facilitators is important as many social and political tensions are fuelled by disowned traits—fear, aggression, entitlement, victimhood and intergenerational trauma. These are typically projected from on group onto another. When these dynamics are gently brought to the surface there is an opportunity to recognize how ‘the problem out there’ may also live ‘in here’, and how these disowned aspects shape larger collective patterns.
Working with the Shadow can soften polarization. Geopolitical conflicts, identity struggles, and ideological divides easily become rigid when each side is identified with being ‘right’ and the other side is made ‘wrong’. Bringing awareness to Shadow elements introduces nuance and opens space for self knowledge and dialogue.
From a systemic perspective, what is excluded – such as marginalised voices or historical injustices – tends to return in disruptive ways. A facilitator who is able to work with shadow aspects can help give a place to these elements, thereby deepening a sense of agency, responsibility and participation in emerging patterns.
Working with shadow supports a more ethical form of facilitation, one that does not repeatedly reinforce dominant narratives, and therefore miss the dynamics of minority groups or race bias for example. It requires an ongoing awareness of one’s own biases and blind spots, particularly when engaging with politically or socially charged material. It also allows for paradox: that those who are harmed may also do harm, and that those who perpetrate harm often emerge from wounded systems.
I feel I have benefitted immensely from this exploration and learning. It has supported the development of a more finely tuned capacity to observe and recognize the shadowy, trauma- informed spaces within myself – and to meet them with greater gentleness and awareness when they arise – both in me and in others.
It is important to remember that this kind of exploration requires care. If we push our client’s too quickly into shadow material, it can feel overwhelming, confrontational, exposing or re-traumatising. A skilled facilitator creates enough safety and pacing so that what emerges can be integrated, while resourcing the client at each step of the constellation.
References
The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1954), CW 9(i)
About the Author Jutta Holzapfel
I am a trained Specialised Kinesiologist, Constellations Facilitator, End of Life Companion, Bereavement Facilitator and Life Celebrant working in private practice.
www.breathingroom.co.za
The Shadow Constellations Training by Nir Esterman is an online and in-person training designed for therapists and facilitators to mature their practice to include the unconscious invisible dynamics that shapes the container we can offer, to support greater depth and safety in professional relationships and transformational work. www.niresterman.com
Aminah Antar Noor is the developer of Womb Constellations and a Breathwork Trainer. The core of her work lies in personal and intergenerational trauma, with emphasis on shadow work. Modalities that support her offerings are: Breathwork, Systemic Trauma & Shadow Constellations, Pranic Healing and Somatic Techniques.
Instagram: aminah.breathingstardust
