Being and Seeing in the Unknown

by Amy Simons

This paper will explore the intersection of my visual arts practice of ‘seeing in the dark’ with family and systemic constellations. It will look at how we can cultivate an attitude that remains open and friendly towards the unknown and in close fidelity to the emergent as we work in the ‘knowing field’.

The term, the ‘knowing field’, was coined by Dr Albrecht Mahr (2002) to explain the information that arises through the feelings, experiences and thoughts of the constellation representatives, as well as the phenomena that appear from the broader field, for instance, the appearance of animals, sudden weather changes or sounds during a constellation. The knowing field is rooted in a phenomenological understanding that seeks to allow information to emerge from the field rather than being externally and theoretically imposed.

Through this paper I explore what it means to ‘look’, ‘see’ and ‘be’ in the unknown, in ways that allow phenomena to slowly reveal themselves and the forward movement of healing to take place.

During my artistic practice and my constellations facilitation, I imagine that I am stepping into a dark cave where at first, I am unable to see or orient in space, and then as I drop deeper into my senses, I start to glimpse and feel what is around me and step by step, I find my way, navigating the unknown terrain.

The Artistic Practice of Seeing in the Dark

I cover the piece of paper with charcoal, blackening the entire page. I breathe in and let out a gentle exhale across the surface, removing any excess charcoal dust. Then I begin the process of looking, adjusting my eyes to ‘see in the dark’. I soften my gaze and peer into the charcoal surface, attuning to the subtle marks, textures and tones. Slowly, images, forms and shapes hint at me through the surface. I begin to see an eye, a jawline, the turn of a shoulder. I let my curiosity lead the way and I gently excavate what intrigues me, using an eraser and a light touch, layer by layer, like an archaeological unearthing. The image slowly comes into being, revealing itself piece by piece. I stay open to the unexpected and to the image’s process of becoming. I hold reverence for its autonomy and aliveness.

I have been creating these ‘seeing in the dark’ artworks for about 4 years, with close to 300 drawings in a growing collection. It is an intentional artistic practice in being with the dark, with the unknown, and with uncertainty, both phenomenologically and psychologically. I stay present to the phenomenon of the dark page, its formlessness and its potentiality.

I wait patiently at its edges, with a friendly and curious attitude as the image and I enter into a dialogic dance of concealing and revealing, leading and following. There is nothing that arises in the images that is too horrific, too painful, too raw or too clichéd. All of it is given a place within the container of the page. Whatsoever rises up from the dark is allowed to be there.

There is a moment when love enters the image, I feel a desire to know it more, to stay close to it, to slip inside the image. It is the moment I am caught by surprise. I am moved and I am touched. That is when the message and the medicine of the image can truly arrive.

  

Family Constellations and Grounding in the Unknown

First, we set up the container. The container is held by the boundaries of time, space, confidentiality and agreements amongst all the participants. The circle creates a holding frame as does the containing presence of the facilitator, and the physical space.

When we step into the constellation field, we step into the unknown. We all step in together, facilitator, client and representatives. None of us know what may or may not happen, where the constellation will go or how we will feel. As the facilitator, we may have a sense or a hunch of the constellation, but it is essential that our “hypotheses are held lightly and freely abandoned when necessary” (Broughton, 2012, p. 23).

As constellation facilitators we need to harness an “ability to tolerate uncertainty, confusion, not-knowing and the ‘creative chaos’ that precedes clarity” (ibid.). We need to tolerate this within the field, within the client and within ourselves. There may be extended periods of muddiness, uncertainty, disorientation, stuckness and not knowing where to go during the constellation. As Schmidt (2007, p. 55) writes, facilitators who can tolerate long periods of uncertainty within the constellation have “faced their own not-knowing and expanded their listening skills to hearing the unknown” (ibid.).

Feminist and phenomenologist, Sara Ahmed (2006), in her book Queer Phenomenology: Orientations, Objects, Others, explores how, when we begin to orient towards things that have been obscured, hidden, disavowed and ‘othered’, we have to find new ways of seeing and being. She writes that, before we can integrate, include or orient towards what has been concealed or excluded, there is a necessary period of “giddiness”, disorientation and chaos (Ahmed, 2006, p. 7). Tolerating uncertainty and not-knowing necessitates any new insight, perspective or healing movement. It is the very ground, the formless space out of which the constellation arises.

Within my artistic practice the dark page is the field of uncertainty, the “creative chaos that precedes clarity” (Broughton, 2012, p. 23). It is the moment we step into the field. It is the period of disorientation before new angles or new perspectives may emerge.  We stay there for as long as is needed, before phenomena begin to reveal themselves.

Schmidt (2007, p. 55) speaks of facilitators that are focused on “not being in touch with the map, but (rather) with the territory”. He alludes to a direct lived experience within the facilitator of the unknown and a deep capacity to inhabit this uncertain territory for as long as is needed.

Being and Seeing in the Dark and Navigating the Constellation

Family constellations is a discipline rooted in phenomenology which requires a heightened sensitivity to what is emerging within the constellation field (Meyburgh, 2004, p. 10). We are trained to stay with what is unfolding in the here and now and to hold open the door for what is in the process of becoming and not yet seen. We seek to allow for the invisible and unconscious patterns and movements within the constellation to become visible, without forcing them to be revealed. We do not go hunting for the ‘truth’, but rather open a space of allowance and permission to see what needs to be seen and include what may have been excluded or disavowed. This leads us to two of the most fundamental principles in systems thinking and constellation work, “inclusion of what has been excluded (and) acknowledging things as they are” (ibid., p. 12).

Goethe, an 18th century philosopher and scientist, developed a rigorous method for the observation of phenomena which he called delicate empiricism (Seamon & Zajonc, 1998, p. 2). He noticed “how difficult it is to keep the object alive before us” (ibid.). The way that we look and the way that we perceive can quite literally kill the aliveness of the object before us. As the facilitator, our presence, gaze and “inner state has a powerful influence on what the constellations reveal” (Schmidt, 2007, p. 53). Kaplan (2002, p. 26) reminds us that “we are a part of what we observe, and thus affect both it and ourselves”.

So, how can we see and be in ways that allow the emergent to truly reveal itself and for what has been obscured to surface, as best we can? What attitudes, qualities and states of being might help us?

Seeing with and through the Body

There may be a difference between seeing and seeing. . .the eyes of the spirit have to work in perpetual living connexion with those of the body, for one otherwise risks seeing yet seeing past a thing (Goethe quoted in Balabanoff, 2017, p. 153)

As the quote from Goethe states above, our eyes need to work in connection with our bodies and our spirits. During the constellation we root knowledge production within the body, the sensations and internal impulses people experience. The body is centered as an essential instrument for information and guidance. We want to try to think as much with and through the body as possible. In constellations, the body is the doorway, the barometer, the compass and the guide.

This is in relation to the representatives, the client, and us as the facilitators. Schmidt (2007, p. 53-54) encourages constellation facilitators to cultivate deeper “self-awareness and self-regulation” and to develop a strong “quality of inner presence (and) inner guidance”.

In my drawing practice, I am constantly checking in with my body, how I am feeling and what inner impulses may arise, letting my body and my curiosity lead the way.

Attunement

Attunement helps us stay in touch with what is happening with both the client and within the constellation field. We attune to the subtle energetic and non-verbal movements and feeling states of both the client and the representatives.

Attunement requires presence from the facilitator and a receptivity to the here-and-now and what is emerging. Cultivating attunement and presence within the facilitator helps to create relational safety in the room. We try to attune as best we can to the needs of the client and the representatives as well as any broader field phenomena that may emerge, such as bees entering the room, bird calls, sudden winds. These layers of attunement require deep presence, sensory sensitivity and groundedness from the facilitator.

This is an essential part of the drawing practice, the moment I look into the dark surface and attune to the subtle marks, tones and textures in the page. I am present, open and receptive.

The Gaze

When we first enter a dark cave, we cannot see, but eventually our eyes will adjust to the dark and we will come to know our surroundings. However, if we enter with a spotlight, all the little creatures scurry away, hiding in the cracks, out of sight.

The quality of our gaze and how we ‘look’ toward the constellation is very important. We try not to be too directive, probing, or to ‘hunt’ for secrets and truths within a constellation. If the quality of our gaze towards the client, representatives and the field is too directive and piercing, we might find that things retreat back into obscurity and concealment. Systems keep certain things hidden for a reason and sometimes a system is not ready to reveal something to us. It is essential that whenever we work with someone’s system, we “remain humble in the face of what is much bigger than us” (Meyburgh, 2004, p. 11).

The quality of our gaze and our ‘looking’ might seem subtle or unimportant, but it has more influence than we sometimes realise. It may be more appropriate to look sideways, soften the gaze, lower the eyes, broaden our sight, allowing the peripheral to come into focus.

Recently, I was facilitating a constellation in my peer group and we were working with the client’s inner child. They had been disconnected for some time and she longed to connect with her again. As the constellation progressed, the representative for the inner child became increasingly uncomfortable feeling exposed and too ‘looked at’. The demand on the inner child was too great. At this moment in the constellation I asked everyone, including myself, to soften and lower their gaze toward the inner child. There was an outbreath that followed and the inner child could inhabit herself more fully. Feeling safer and less exposed, she began to express her needs. The constellation could then move forward.

When I look into the dark page, I soften and broaden my gaze, allowing the periphery to come in. I do not ‘hunt’ for images or try and dig them out. With a gaze that is too focused and direct I lose the emerging images before me. The harder I look, the less I see. I rather try to open myself to ‘hints’ and ‘glimpses’ and momentary encounters with the phenomena hidden just beneath the surface.

Inclusion and Working with the Peripheral

In family constellations we believe that every system wants to include all of its parts and that when someone or something has been excluded from the system, the system will compensate and symptomize in certain ways (ibid., p. 12). This means that we give a place to even the most excluded and disavowed parts of the system. We include and make room for what has been ‘othered’ and we give it a place. During the constellation, there is an “inclusion of all phenomena as they arise” (Broughton, 2012, p. 23).

In family constellations, when we refer to the excluded parts of the system, these may be ancestors or family members that have been rejected by the family due to taboo, addiction or conflict. The exclusion could also be emotions that have not been felt and expressed in the family system such as rage, grief or despair. It may also be internal parts of the client that have been excluded such as an inner child aspect, an emotion or a traumatizing experience.

In the Internal Family Systems model, Richard Schwartz (2021) calls these inner split off parts, ‘exiles’. Exiles are often young parts of ourselves that have been pushed out of conscious awareness because of trauma and hurt. These parts remain hidden and out of sight in order to stay protected. The process of fetching and reintegrating these younger, excluded and traumatized parts is slow and sensitive and requires high levels of attunement and responsiveness on the part of the facilitator.

When we orient towards that which has been excluded and pushed to the periphery, we need to work gently, slowly and full of care. When someone or something has been split off or marginalised for a long time, there may be a lack of trust to reintegrate back into the system, a fear in taking their rightful place (ibid., p. 26).

When I start to see the images hinting and glimpsing at me through the surface of the charcoal page, I open my heart and whisper, “Yes, you belong. I have come all this way to find you”. I whisper this mantra no matter how terrifying, unbearable, or horrific the image is. There is nothing that appears within the container of the dark page that is ‘too much’ or that I try to push back underground and back to the periphery. I work slowly, sensitively and with care, allowing the lost and hidden parts of myself to be found and re-membered. I welcome it all.

 

Staying Open to the Unexpected

“The phenomenological approach requires a persistent receptiveness and openness to the novel, a willingness to be in a state of ‘creative chaos, out of which new insights can emerge’” (Broughton, 2012, p. 23)

Staying open to the unexpected throughout the constellation is an essential element in working in a phenomenological and emergent way. The constellation takes shape step by step, building on itself slowly. We follow the field and let it reveal to us what to do next. We test things out and see how the field responds. We hold the door open for the unexpected and for the element of surprise. We do not follow what we think we know, or what we think is happening, we try to follow what really is happening in the here and now, in this very moment (Meyburgh, 2004, p. 10).

We may think, from the interview and what we know of the client, that the mother and daughter hold immense tension toward one another and need more distance, yet, in the constellation the representatives look toward each other only with love and tenderness. The field shows us something completely different, something unexpected.

Often, when we are surprised or met with the unexpected, we are moved by something bigger than us. We feel it. These are the moments in my drawings where I am met by an unexpected image or symbol that touches me very deeply, often relating profoundly to a previously unconscious aspect of myself, life or dreams. These are the gifts we are offered by the field and by the dark.

Holding with Reverence and Sacred Silence

We do not speak about the constellation for two weeks after it is completed. We hold sacred this window while the inner images and medicine of the constellation can take root within the psyche and soul of the individual.

When I finish a drawing, I honour it, giving it time to root in me. I live with it quietly for a few weeks on the wall in my studio, lighting a candle beneath it every now and then. We live together, the image and I, and over time my soul and psyche are nourished by its medicine.

Concluding thoughts

When we work with the constellation field, we are working with the unknown as our very ground and foundation. We work with the formless and dark space out of which phenomena arise. Within this space we hold open the possibility for that which has been excluded, disavowed, and ‘othered’ to be integrated and given a place. We allow for split off parts to come home and for dreams we haven’t dared to dream, to be seeded. Working with this requires high levels of sensitivity and inhabiting new ways of being and seeing.

Some of the ways of being and seeing which I have lifted up in this paper are: cultivating a friendly attitude toward the unknown; an ability to tolerate high levels of uncertainty and confusion; rooting and sensing through the body; growing a capacity for attunement and responsiveness; adjusting our eyesight to ‘see in the dark’; and, to hold an attitude of inclusion toward the phenomena that arise within the constellation field. And finally, it is with a quiet reverence and respect that we allow the medicine of the constellation to be administered over time.

Contact

If you would like to find more of my writing, work and art you can follow my Substack here: https://substack.com/@amysimonsart or you can reach out on email: circleamy@gmail.com

References

Ahmed, S. (2006). Queer Phenomenology: Orientations, Objects, Others. Duke University Press.

Balabanoff, D. (2017). An Artistic Praxis: Phenomenological Colour and Embodied experience. Journal of International Colour Association, 17, 150–200.

Broughton, V. (2012). Gestalt, Phenomenology and Trauma-Oriented Constellations. The Knowing Field, 19, 22–27.

Kaplan, A. (2002). Development Practitioners and Social Process: Artists of the Invisible. Pluto Press.

Mahr, A. (2002). Überlegungen zur Weiterbildung im Familien-Stellen und die Rolle der IAG. Praxis der Systemaufstellung, 1, 79.

Meyburgh, T. (2004). Family Constellations Foundation Course.

Schmidt, J. (2007). What about the Facilitator? The Knowing Field, 10, 53–55.

Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Sounds True.

Seamon, D., & Zajonc, A. (1998). Goethe’s Way of Science: A Phenomenology of Nature. State University of New York Press.

Image Index

Image 1: Beyond light, 2022, charcoal on paper, Amy Simons

Image 2: Death on the path, 2021, charcoal on paper, Amy Simons

Image 3: Guidance, 2022, charcoal on paper, Amy Simons

Image 4: My love, which dying bird have you held lovingly to your chest? When have you turned the blade on yourself?, 2024, charcoal on paper, Amy Simons

Image 5: I have embraced your shadow, 2022, charcoal on paper, Amy Simons